


Temptation accomplished!

by Nenchen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Crowley Is A Pine Tree In Sunglasses, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Flirting, Horny, Humor, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Temptation, do you see a theme? XD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenchen/pseuds/Nenchen
Summary: In a drunken stupor, Crowley sets free flirt-master Aziraphale. Like most of his plans, this one also turns on him.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 85





	Temptation accomplished!

**Author's Note:**

> Discord people you really shouldn't encourage me sometimes XDD
> 
> My music recommendation for this short fic is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ).  
> 

They. Were. Shitfaced.

That was not the polite word for this state of being but being in this state of being made it so Crowley couldn’t actually track down the polite word in the vast expanse of his enormous vocabulary. All of the “eerm” and “ngk” and “whoo-ee” were obstructing his view.

Well, didn’t matter anyways. What mattered was sitting in front of him, just as drunk as he was, and talking. Shit. Better tune back into reality.

“Thus, I am quite sure I got the tempting down to an art form now. I doubt anyone could resist my temptations now.”

_Oh, I believe you, angel. I sure as hell can’t._

Those were the words Crowley swallowed down. The words his mouth decided to form instead, were the following.

“Yeah? I bet you I can find a way someone will say no to you.”

Was that better? The spark in Aziraphale’s eyes begged to differ. The angel leaned forward, closer to Crowley. CLOSE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“What’s the price?” Aziraphale asked with a smirk, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

Shit. Confident angel was HOT. ABORT, ABORT, WAIT HE COULDN’T ABORT WITHOUT NAMING A REASON.

“Hnnnnggglunch?” he stammered.

“Terms accepted, dear fellow!” the angel called out, taking his hand from where it had been clenched at his side and shook it. Shit.

An hour later, they were still on the same level of shitfacedness, but Crowley was also on the brink of either having an existential crisis or discorporating from sheer horniness.

The angel.

Had won.

Every.

Test.

His creative side started to cave in under the rest of his brain screaming about how Aziraphale had tempted people in the stupidest ways possible. And succeeded. And looked amazing while doing so.

In a silly hat.

In a peacock costume.

In a regency outfit. (That one had been a BAD BAD IDEA. It wasn’t even HARD to tempt someone for Aziraphale if he was looking like THAT.)

With terrible pick- up lines like “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.” and “If you were a library book, I would check you out.”

By bursting into song.

Even while doing the everything-blessed _Gavotte_.

Crowley was at the end of his wits. He should just give up and treat the angel to lunch before this got any worse. He should just…

“Alright angel, one last. I want to know it’s not just pity so, think of something yourself and try me.”

FUCK. WHY. HAD. HE. SAID. THAT.

The angel looked pensive. Crowley dared to hope. Maybe, just maybe, fate would have mercy on him this one time.

Then the angel’s face lit up in an all-encompassing, gorgeous smile, and Crowley knew he was doomed.

The angel scooted closer to him, making Crowley’s higher brain functions collectively put in their vacation days. Aziraphale gently took his hand and brought it up to his face. To his LIPS. Crowley felt like he was about to explode. Was he going to…

A way too wet feeling made every fantasy of kissing come to a screeching halt. Aziraphale had not kissed his hand. He had licked it.

The last thing Crowley experienced on this plane of existence was a beaming angel, loudly proclaiming:

“Licked! You’re mine now!”

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit my tumblr at [goodduckingomens](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/goodduckingomens).  
> Comments and Kudos very much motivate me, so please leave some if you had fun! Keysmash comments appreaciated for the true Crowleys out there. Emojis, extra kudos, whatever!! Leave me a single letter, I just like to see people read my stuff! 
> 
> Or leave me another "challenging temptation" and I'll probably put it in! :D


End file.
